Chapter 1: The Beginning of Invisibility(第一章:隐形之始)

  The decision wasn't made in a moment of heroic clarity, but in the festering swamp of my own frustration. Years of watching them on screen—Lauren Thompson with her razor-sharp intellect and a smile that could launch a thousand fantasies, the fitness vloggers with bodies sculpted by gods, the gaming streamers who leaned into their microphones with whispered promises. I was a ghost in my own life, but the elixir from NovellaX promised I could be a ghost in theirs. Permanent. The ultimate all-access pass. The fine print mentioned water—a substantial amount would cause a localized reversal, a shimmering patch of me appearing until it dried. A splash was a risk; a downpour, a disaster. But a little steam? A few droplets? That was the price of admission.

  这个决定并非出于英雄般的顿悟,而是在我自己那溃烂的挫败感沼泽中做出的。多年在屏幕上观看她们——劳伦·汤普森,她有着犀利的才智和足以引发无数幻想的微笑;那些拥有神祇雕琢般身材的健身博主;那些带着耳语般承诺倾向麦克风的游戏主播。我在自己的生活中是个幽灵,但NovellaX的药水承诺我能成为她们生活中的幽灵。永久性的。终极的全通行证。细则提到了水——大量液体会导致局部逆转,出现一块闪烁的“我”,直到干透为止。被水泼溅是风险;倾盆大雨则是灾难。但一点水汽?几滴水珠?那是入场的代价。

  What truly held me back, the cold iron around my neck, was the stories. Not from documentaries, but from gritty crime novels and dark web forums. Stories about what happens to guys like me inside—not just beatings, but a more intimate, humiliating kind of violence. Buggered. The word itself was crude, final. It was the ultimate consequence, the loss of bodily autonomy in the most brutal way. That fear was a more effective prison than any concrete wall. I could look. I could even take. But I could not, under any circumstances, touch her. That line was painted in the stark colors of personal terror.

  真正束缚我的,套在我脖子上的冰冷铁环,是那些故事。不是来自纪录片,而是来自粗粝的犯罪小说和暗网论坛。关于我这类人进去后会遭遇什么的故事——不仅仅是挨打,而是一种更亲密、更羞辱的暴力。“鸡奸”。这个词本身就很粗俗,是最终结局。那是终极后果,是以最残酷的方式失去身体自主权。这种恐惧是比任何混凝土墙壁都更有效的监狱。我可以看。我甚至可以拿。但无论如何,我不能触碰她。那条界线是用个人恐惧的鲜明色彩描绘的。

  My first target was Lauren. Her apartment was in a sleek high-rise, a fortress of glass and steel. I stood outside, the vial cold in my palm. This was it. No going back. I drank it. The world didn't spin; it simply… adjusted. I looked down and saw the pavement through my chest. A wave of giddy power washed over me, followed immediately by the chilling grip of fear. I walked through the main door as a deliveryman held it open, a thrill of transgression shooting up my spine. I found her door, 14B. Taking a deep breath, I stepped forward, through the wood and the deadbolt. It felt like pushing through a wall of cold, thick jelly.

  我的第一个目标是劳伦。她的公寓在一栋时尚的高层建筑里,一个由玻璃和钢铁构成的堡垒。我站在外面,小瓶在掌心冰冷。就是现在了。没有回头路。我喝下了它。世界没有旋转;它只是……调整了。我低头,透过我的胸膛看到了人行道。一阵令人眩晕的力量感冲刷而过,随即被恐惧的冰冷紧握所取代。我趁着送货员开门时走进大门,违禁的快感窜上脊柱。我找到了她的门,14B。深吸一口气,我向前迈步,穿过了木头门和门栓。感觉像是穿过一堵冰冷、浓稠的果冻墙。

  I was in. The air was clean and quiet. It smelled of lemons and… her. I recognized the perfume from a hundred screen memories. My heart hammered. I was a god and a cockroach all at once. I moved through the living room. It was pristine, almost sterile. A news anchor's sanctuary. My eyes fell on a pair of high heels kicked off carelessly by the rug. A small crack in the perfection. I knelt, my transparent nose inches from the shoe. I could see the faint imprint of her toes in the insole. The intimacy was electric. This was better than any fantasy.

  我进来了。空气洁净而安静。有柠檬和……她的味道。我从上百次的屏幕记忆中认出了这香水。我的心狂跳。我同时感觉自己既是神又是蟑螂。我穿过客厅。这里一尘不染,几乎像消毒过一样。一个新闻主播的圣所。我的目光落在随意踢在地毯边的一双高跟鞋上。这是完美中的一道小裂缝。我跪下,透明的鼻子离鞋子只有几英寸。我能看到鞋垫上她脚趾的淡淡印记。这种亲密感如电流般击中我。这比任何幻想都更好。

  Then I heard the lock. She was home. Panic, pure and sharp. I scrambled not behind a curtain, but into her walk-in closet. It was a forest of silk, wool, and scent. I hid among her dresses, my form blending into the shadows. The door opened. Lauren walked in, sighing. She dropped her briefcase, shrugged off her blazer. She was talking to someone on her phone, her voice tired but warm. "Yeah, just got in. Long day." She walked past the closet, toward the kitchen. I heard the fridge open, the pour of liquid. This was real. She was right there.

  然后我听到了锁声。她回家了。恐慌,纯粹而尖锐。我慌忙躲藏,不是窗帘后,而是躲进了她的步入式衣帽间。这是一个由丝绸、羊毛和香气构成的森林。我藏在她的连衣裙之间,我的形态融入阴影。门开了。劳伦走进来,叹了口气。她放下公文包,脱下西装外套。她正在用手机和人通话,声音疲惫但温暖。“嗯,刚到家。漫长的一天。”她经过衣帽间,走向厨房。我听到冰箱打开,液体倒入杯中的声音。这是真实的。她就在那里。

  This was just the beginning. The first page of my new life. The closet was my throne room. From here, I would watch. I would learn. And I would take what I wanted, as long as it wasn't her. The fear of a prison cell where I would become the victim kept my darker impulses in check. For now, the thrill of the unseen was enough. But the hamper in the corner of the closet, brimming with her clothes, whispered of more intimate treasures to come.

  这仅仅是开始。我新生活的第一页。衣帽间是我的王座室。从这里,我将观看。我将学习。并且我将拿走我想要的,只要不是她。对那个我会成为受害者的监狱牢房的恐惧,抑制着我更黑暗的冲动。现在,作为隐形者的刺激就足够了。但衣帽间角落那个堆满她衣物的脏衣篮,正低语着即将到来的、更亲密的宝藏。